To Disclose or Not to Disclose? For Me, I Have No Choice but to Be in the Open.

Trigger Stuff: I don’t think there’s anything triggering here, but I do talk a bit about how stressful it is to be me in a Neurotypical world.

One salient feature of being Autistic is that many of us are incredibly blunt (in other words, we are “tactless”). Very soon, I will be disclosing my diagnosis to other members of my family because it’s becoming incredibly hard to hide certain patterns. I have been spending the past year and a half since my diagnosis learning about my particular brand of Autism works. I won’t go into details about certain aspects just yet, as I have to ease into situations. I eventually will launch fully into this, because I feel that I must reach out to the Autistic community in order to get help. I have to punch through my anxiety to get the help I need, because I cannot communicate in any other way but directly, bluntly, and “tactlessly.”

Why should I have to hide who I am? I am blunt and direct when interacting with other people because most of the time, even trying to think of ways to indirectly communicate my thoughts and intentions in speech and words makes me so incredibly anxious. Having to think of all that stuff on the fly sends my Autistic brain into overuse. Thinking about how to indirectly get what I want out of life is also stressful. I am not equipped to play the “indirect game.” The only thing that works for me is being direct.

I plan to tackle several things in the future directly:

1.) Employment issues
2.) Getting what I want out of life
3.) How living as an Autistic adult feels (as of now, I feel “left in the dust” in many aspects).

EDIT TO ADD 4.) How I feel the education system failed me.

That is all.


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